A brand new Lidl has just opened in Balderton, Newark on Trent. Like most Lidl’s it’s quite continental with a huge bakery, lots of fresh fruit and veg, plenty of meat and not that many packets and tins. Of course there’s also several aisles of stuff you didn’t realise you needed before you went in like 15 piece socket sets, or cutters that shave courgettes in intricate patterns. I shopped there last week and found it very cheap compared to my normal weekly shop at Asda. The problem is my youngest daughter has developed a taste for things like McVities biscuits and Walkers crisps so she wasn’t happy with imitation Jaffa Cakes or Snaktastic crisps. Normally, I’d tell her to man-up and eat the stuff, but I do feel a tinsy-winsy bit guilty about clearing off yet again in our camper van and dumping the teenagers for a long weekend; therefore, today I relented and went to Asda and bought lots of brand items. This is the text I sent her from Asda car park. I know…. I have too much time on my hands…!
” I can confirm a whole load of exceptionally adequate food, which is certified as full of flavour, has been purchased, including: real Jaffa Cakes, Goodfellas Pizza, Walkers Quavers, McCoys Crisps, Innocent Orange Juice, Maryland Cookies and real chocolate cookies and pain au chocolat from the in-store bakery. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your custom and to assure you that operatives are standing by to assist you should you have any questions. A highly experienced individual from our catering team is on high alert awaiting your return this afternoon ready to cook you a meal. Kind regards from the Child Customer Satisfaction Director.”
I thought it might be taking the piss a bit, but good lady wife confirmed it was brilliant.
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